To All the Parents of Spicy Children with Big Emotions
Hey, If you have a child who has those intense emotions, be it anger, anxiety, or those seemingly uncontrollable outbursts. I see you, and I want you to know that I’ve walked in your shoes.
Remember those moments when your child was yelling in your face in public? Or having a panic attack? Or clinging to your side at a birthday party (if you even managed to get them out the front door)?
I’ve been there too.
I know what it’s like to stay at events and activities long after other parents have left, just in case my son had an outburst.
I’ve felt that loneliness, wondering how to help my child, feeling like every other kid had it together except mine.
Here’s the thing—you’re not alone.
There are so many kids out there just like our little firecrackers, and just as many parents feeling exactly the way we do.
My hope is that by sharing my story, experience and training through the years that you’ll gain the tools you need to understand your child’s needs and help them sooner than I did with a lot less mistakes.
My Journey
It all started when my second son was born. From day one, it was clear his nervous system was taxed—eczema from head to toe, always on edge, projectile vomiting. Between 2-3 yrs old, we faced sadness and rage that went far beyond typical tantrums. Then anxiety also kicked in along with outbursts of yelling, hitting and more…
My mama bear instincts kicked into high gear.
Despite being in the health and wellness field for over 20 years, I found myself struggling with burnout. Parenting is TOUGH. Especially a kid with big emotions.
So, I made a decision—I became a sleep, stress, and recovery coach to help both of us.
Once I was out of burnout and my son’s stress system had improved quite a bit I transitioned to work with First Responders. This provided me with an invaluable education, teaching me not only how to support those living in a constant state of stress but also how to take control of their sleep and recovery while stressed.
While this knowledge helped my son quite a bit, he still grappled with big emotions. School was a daily stress. By third grade, his anxiety about going to school and managing extracurricular activities became so overwhelming that I started homeschooling him.
At home, I began to see the full picture—his perfectionism, his brilliance in math coupled with a struggle to show his work, how multi-step tasks would instantly overwhelm him.
This led me to study Internal Family Systems Therapy as a coach, not just to help my First Responder clients, but also to support my son with his traumas of perfectionism and difficulties in asking for help or accepting guidance.
Finally, I learned what the heck executive functioning was, and discovered techniques to help with multi-step processes, perception, attention, planning, showing work, impulse control and more.
The changes I’ve seen in my son over the years have been nothing short of amazing.
As I delved deeper into understanding and supporting my neurodiverse child, I realized that my entire life had become centered around helping him navigate his big emotions and unique challenges.
This journey opened my eyes to the struggles of other parents in similar situations.
I started helping parents of my son’s neurodiverse friends, sharing the knowledge and strategies I’d gathered over the years.
It was then that I made a pivotal decision in my career. I transitioned from working primarily with First Responders to focusing solely on Kids With Big Emotions.
This shift allowed me to dedicate my expertise and passion to helping families like ours navigate the complex world of neurodiversity and intense emotions.
Understanding Big Emotions
One crucial lesson I’ve learned along the way is that every child is different, and so are their emotional triggers and responses. What causes stress or big emotions in one child might not affect another in the same way.
Some children might struggle with sensory overload in noisy environments or scents, while others might find social interactions particularly challenging. Some might have meltdowns over changes in routine, while others might become overwhelmed by the way the school system requires them to learn or when asked to do simple things around the house.
This means that there’s no one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to helping our kids manage their intense feelings.
The key is to recognize and understand your child’s unique emotional landscape, and to find strategies that work specifically for them.
Why I’m Here
My journey hasn’t been without mistakes and setbacks, but each phase has brought new opportunities for growth. I aim to share what I’ve learned and help you discover better ways to support your child with big emotions.
Join me on this journey and find ways to help our spicy children thrive.
